He has upped the dose of my medication which is great because I really feel I need it put up.  Life is so difficult sometimes and can be so hard to deal with.  Even the smallest things can just really get you down when you have a hundred of those small things all building up.

I should be thankful that I have a good life, I live in a good country, I have a nice house, I have three great kids and a husband.  I have a great family and the most gorgeous dog.  So why is life still depressing?

Who knows!

In my journey with the shrink I have talked a lot about my past and my Father – or Sperm Donor as I prefer to call him because that’s all he’s ever been.  I don’t know where else to go with that though, I feel like I’ve spoken about it as much as I can and don’t know how else to deal with it to help me be a happier person today.

I guess time will tell if all this therapy helps or not – it’s still early days and I know I’ve had some improvement in some areas, so fingers crossed, with time, I can get through this and find that true happiness that I so badly want!

At the moment…….. C’est la vie – Such is Life!

I have always wanted to donate blood to give back to someone else that amazing gift that someone gave me.  But there’s a problem…….  I suffer from haemophobia – I faint when I see blood and have done since I was a kid.

In 1996 I had a partial hydaditifor molar pregnancy and a D&C operation that wasn’t done correctly.  As a result I ended up losing a lot of blood and clotting quite a bit and was again taken to hospital.  I had to have another operation and they found I had an infection in my uterus and was lucky they caught it on time.  I was put on IV antibiotics and given a blood plasma transfusion.

A few years ago I had a hysterectomy and following the surgery I had a large bleed.  I could barely walk to the toilet and back without collapsing and that wasn’t very far in a hospital room.  My haemoglobin levels were half what they should be and I was given a blood transfusion.

I have certainly received my share of blood from some amazing people and donating blood is something that I really passionately want to do.  I just want to give back that gift of life that these people selflessly gave to me.

Last night I had an appointment to give blood.  I has taken me over 20 years to build up the courage to actually go and give blood and I was feeling really good about doing it.  I got to the blood donation place, I had to fill out a thousand questions and then had to have an interview with a nurse.  The nurse decided that they would not take my blood because of my blood phobia – they didn’t want to risk me fainting.

I was so unbelievably upset.  I feel so pathetic that I can’t even give blood!

I knew there was a good possibility that I might faint and I was willing to take that risk just so I can give someone a great gift.  Does it really matter so much if I faint when the blood taken could save someone’s life.  Me fainting is a small price to pay to be able to save a life!

As I’m working through many issues in my life and my blood phobia is one of those issues.  There is so much more to me giving blood than just giving blood.  This was a big step for me and one that I’d hoped would be a step toward me working through some of my issues.  It was just so much more than just giving blood.

I feel like such a failure right now.  It seems that everything I do or try to do I fail at. 

When I first started this website a few years ago I did so because it was a topic that I knew about.  I suffered Depression and so I wanted to share what I knew.

However, I never really liked this website, it just seemed to give the usual details about depression that everyone with depression already knows anywhere.  The same sort of information you can find on a thousand other websites online.

I almost let this domain expire and just let the website go altogether but I decided not to.

I have made a change to the site – not a very obvious one, but one that I felt I needed to make.  You see, I promoted some depression products as a way of monetizing the website, even though I hadn’t used them myself and had no idea how good they were.  So I’ve removed them, especially now that I believe all self help stuff is just CRAP!

The only one I’ve used and found does help a little is the Mindsoothe, although now I’m on prescribed medication I don’t use Mindsoothe anymore.

SELF HELP CRAP!

Now if you are here to find the answers and find something that will snap you out of your depression, then you may want to leave.  Because I am not promising to find any answers – hell, I’m still looking for them myself.  But I will tell you what I have learned along he way.

I have done all the self help stuff.  I have read heaps of self help books, I have done Yoga, I’ve done Pilates and I’ve attended courses on depression and anxiety.

Did they help????

Nope – not at all.

The problem with self help books and stuff, is that you are still on your own.  You will give it a go and try to do what is suggested in the book, but it will only work for a little while and before you know it you slip back into your old habits.

It is true that to help yourself get better that you have to take the initiative and you need to really want to change, but you can’t do it on your own.  I’m sorry for those who don’t agree – actually I’m not sorry at all, I must stop apologizing and feeling guilty about things – but this is my experience and this is the way I see it.

I have tried all the self help stuff and I’ve taken medication and still do.  Not even that is enough!

What’s the Answer?

Is there any answer to depression?  Fuck I hope so!

Oh, I should also mention that if you don’t want to read bad language you might want to leave too.  This is the way I’m feeling at the moment and I’m slowly learning to do what I want and feel and not do things to please everyone else – a big contributing factor to my own depression.

Get Help – See a Psychiatrist

About 3 months ago I started seeing a psychiatrist.  I reached a point where I couldn’t cope anymore and I was at rock bottom.  I was extremely depressed, anxious and suffering panic attacks.  I knew I needed help, I just couldn’t do it alone anymore.

Asking for help is the best thing I have ever done.  My psychiatrist is great.  Even though I still feel really awkward and uncomfortable going there, I can talk to him in a way that I can’t talk to anyone else.

I’m not saying that all psychiatrists are as good as him either, I know there are many out there who will keep you coming back forever so they can continue to earn an income.  My psychiatrist isn’t like that, he really tries to help you fix yourself so you can change who you are by dealing with all your issues from the past.  He helps you to deal with things that you never really dealt with in a good way, he helps you deal with them better so you can move past them and be happy.

He gave me a book to read called Uncommon Dialogue by Debra J Drake – brilliant book.  If you can get hold of a copy then I recommend you read it.  By reading that book you will get an understanding of how a good psychiatrist works and how he can help.  This book is Debra’s own personal journey with her psychiatrist – who happens to be the psychiatrist that I am seeing.

All the self help crap that I’ve done in the past has got me nowhere.  I have never really felt like I’m progressing at all until I started seeing Dr.P.

Still in the Deep Dark Hole

Through this journey with Dr.P there have been ups and downs.  A couple of weeks ago I was on a high, I was happy and laughing and thought I was finally getting somewhere.  Dr.P had changed my medication as he didn’t think the one I was taking was helping me enough.  I had been on the new medication for a couple of weeks and I thought this is great I’m actually feeling happy on it.  Dr.P believes that it’s best to get a medication that you respond to well so you can at least be happier while working through all the other issues.  Different people respond differently to medications so if one doesn’t work, then you might want to see your doctor and ask to be changed to a different one.

Anyway, my happiness soon disappeared and I started feeling down again, so I’m guessing it wasn’t the change of medication that made me happy.  I don’t know what it was.  The last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling down, stuck, just really flat and frustrated.

I’m feeling like I just can’t pull myself out of this hole and get on with things.  My house is a mess – and that’s an understatement, because I just don’t have the energy or motivation to clean it.  As I’m writing this my kitchen benches are full of dishes from last night’s dinner and my bathrooms are filthy.

Although I’m still depressed, anxious and panic to some degree, I do still recommend seeing a shrink.  I know that there will be many ups and downs and although I’m down at the moment, I have to keep the hope that this is just a ‘down’ phase of my journey and soon I will be on the up again.

I can’t get out of this deep dark hole on my own.  Just like if you fall down a deep crevice in a cliff, if you are on your own you will struggle to get yourself out of that hole.  If you have someone to help you they can help to pull you out.  It’s the same with depression, it’s a real struggle and almost impossible to get out of that deep, dark hole on your own.  Find someone to help you, find someone to help pull you out of that deep dark hole.

But what is postpartum depression really? We’ve heard about it often enough, yet are we really sure that we know enough about it for us to actually understand this illness in order for us to help ourselves as well as others? Being pregnant should really be a source of joy for everyone, especially the mother to be, who for nine months, will actually have living being grow from inside of her. Unfortunately, there is another side to this joyous occasion, being pregnant means that you and your body will have to get used to some adjustments for you to have a safe pregnancy. Smoking, alcohol, strenuous activities as well as stress should be avoided at all cost. A healthy baby means having a healthy mother as well. But given that you have been able to successfully avoided all these bad habits for your baby to be, childbirth is a whole different thing, as much as we may try to avoid it, there are still some unfortunate cases wherein the mother’s as well as the baby’s life might be in danger.

But there’s actually more, postpartum depression actually happens after childbirth. Although it’s quite common and a lot of women have learned to how to deal with it as well as successfully treat it (like Brooke Shields), it is still quite avoidable. Postpartum depression is actually a lot like depression, but only new moms are the possible victims of this illness. There are actually a lot possible reasons why postpartum depression occurs:

Childbirth as we all know is not as easy as pie, actual physical stress from giving birth is one of the main reasons why postpartum depression occurs. Next postpartum depression trigger is massive changes is hormonal levels. A lot of moms-to-be who were hesitant about bearing a child are also more susceptible to postpartum depression, those who are not ready to be a mother yet are more easily to get depressed as opposed to happy and excited moms-to-be.

When postpartum depression happens, it really is best to go to the doctor immediately. Aside from obviously having ill-effects for the new mother, postpartum depression can prove to be harmful to the child as well. New mothers who are suffering from postpartum depression may be harboring ill feelings toward their children. Their are actually some cases of murder wherein postpartum depression has been cited as the reason. Mothers who suffer from postpartum depression may blame their child for their weight gain, thus feeling like they’ve become less attractive and unloved. It is really best to consult a reputable cognitive behavior therapist to take care of your postpartum woes, your therapist may prescribe medications to help cure postpartum depression as well as therapy sessions to help relieve whatever pent emotions that you may have.

Characterized by sudden and extreme changes in their mood, Manic depression is said to be called as such because manic = mania refers to the ‘ups’ while depression refers to the ‘downs’.
A lot of people actually experience erratic changes in their moods, some times, these so-called mood swings may not just be caused by PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome) or stress. Doctors actually have diagnosed mood swings as a common symptom of depression.

But when these so-called mood swings have gone to utmost absurdity, from getting irked even by the littlest or simplest of thins like not getting your favorite ice cream flavor, this may not be just a sign of brattiness, but when getting irked means you’ll cuss and swear on the ice cream vendor and throw absurd tantrums, this may already be the start of Manic depression.The so-called ‘manic’ or ‘ups’ in Manic depression is described as to be the times when a person suffering from Manic depression may experience overly high periods, consisting of heightened energy, a sudden outburst of euphoric mood, extreme irritability, thoughts racing as well as aggressive behavior.
According to therapists, someone suffering from Manic depression may have these so-called manic ‘periods’ wherein sudden outbursts of euphoric and elevated mood swings may actually go through this for as long as not just a day, in can actually go on for as long as one week, even longer than that.

When it comes to the so-called ‘low’ or ‘down’ periods, as its name suggests can actually bring someone who is suffering from Manic depression may experience very similar symptoms to those who are suffering from actual depression. People who are suffering from Manic depression may actually experience episodes showing a depressed state of mind – a feeling of worthlessness and being unloved may start to corrupt the individual’s mind. Various symptoms, showing guilt, extreme sadness, anxiety attacks, feeling of not belonging, extreme pessimism and obvious loss for pleasure. According to therapists, an individual who is depressed. consistently for more than a week can officially be diagnosed as someone who is suffering from Manic depression.

In spite of being one of the most common, yet severe type of depressive disorder, Manic depression, according to doctors can actually be treated. There’s no reason to worry too much about it, just follow the proper procedures that the therapist will instruct you to do, take the proper prescribed medications as well as the proper dosage in order to help you (or your friend or love one) overcome Manic depression before it becomes too late. Also, individuals who are suffering from Manic depression should always be able to see their therapists on a regular basis so as to be able to release their pent up emotions to some one who can interpret and understand what they’re going to a lot better as compared to “normal” people.

Although positive results for a Manic depressive patient can still be achieved from natural alternatives, a proper and a more lasting relief from Manic depressive symptoms can still be best acquired through seeing cognitive behavior therapists. Contrary to some beliefs, when it comes to psychiatric treatments, psychiatrists, preferably cognitive behavior therapists are still the best ones to consult for Manic depression, as well as the ones who’ll most probably be able to cure Manic depression.

 Depression oftentimes can easily get in the way of an individual’s daily activities and his or hers’ normal functions, one’s zest for life can quickly and easily dissipate due to depression. And in place of an individual’s sunny disposition is more or less a person who hates his or herself, having no self-confidence, trying to isolate one’s self from the world and basically just not caring about living any more. More so, a person suffering from depression isn’t the only one who’s going to suffer from this destructive illness, his or her loved ones are sure to follow suit. By seeing the individual grow through such rough patches, basically not caring about anything or anyone anymore, it’s highly likely that not only will depression one’s relationship with one’s self but with his or her loved ones too. But this shouldn’t really pose as such a problem since people who suffer from depression are actually lucky that there are all sorts of depression treatments that can be used to aid an individual through the course of having a sound mental health.

Depression treatment actually starts with the patient openly acknowledging his or her illness, by just being honest with one’s self, it’ll be a lot easier not only for the doctor but for the patient most of all, to actually cure depression and find an appropriate depression treatment for him or her.

From various medications (like Zoloft antidepressant depression treatment) to all sorts of psychotherapies promising to be the best depression treatment. The patient, as well as his or her family are sure to get the best, positive results from these depression treatments.

Psychotherapy, a popular type of depression treatment actually includes short-term therapy sessions, usually from ten to twenty weeks promising to actually be able to make positive results for the depression patient. This type of depression treatment actually helps the individual by slowly making them to actually open up about their feelings, the root of their problems, more so, the root of their depression. Healthy verbal exchanges between the cognitive behavior therapist and the depression patient is great depression treatment that’ll positively affect the depression patient by helping him or her discuss and talk about whatever they’ve been keeping inside.

Various medications that are available for depression treatment are actually great for helping the depression patient to regulate his or her mood swings, to actually help him or her sleep better and as well as be more pleasant towards others.

Click here to find out more about overcoming depression

This very real illness involves the emotional, physical and mental faculties of the depressed person.  This is not just a passing feeling of sadness that you can will away whenever you wish.  There are signs and symptoms and there is proper treatment.  When not immediately and properly handled, the condition may become worse.  Just as any disease, depression will vary from person to person.

Depressive disorders come in three types, dysthymic disorder, depressive disorder and bipolar disorder.

When all the signs and symptoms of depression begin to interfere with you ability to act normally, the episode is called major depression.  Major depression can happen only once or may reoccur.

Dysthymia is less severe than major depression.  Dysthymia shows the same signs and symptoms that major depression does, but the patient is still able to carry out most activities.  When a person has a dysthymic disorder, he may suffer one or more episodes of major depression at sometime.

A third disorder that is also depression that includes dramatic mood changes is called Bipolar disorder.  A person with bipolar disorder may be severely depressed one minute and very high the next.  When on a manic cycle, the person may be overenthusiastic and hyper, but when the depression portion of the cycle hits will hit a low.  A person in the manic cycle may stay up all night and clean the house from top to bottom and still be ready to find friends to meet for breakfast, lunch and have a dinner party.  In the depression portion, the house may be untouched for days while friends’ calls are unreturned.  In the manic cycle, patients often feel they are cured and stop taking medication.

As all illnesses, depression has symptoms.  The following is a list of those symptoms

• Emptiness
• hopelessness
• guilt and worthlessness at all times
• lack of interest in things that once brought joy, including sex
• continual tiredness
• difficulty making decisions
• new sleep problems
• appetite loss or change of weight
• thoughts of or attempts at suicide
• irritable
• pain which has no basis physiologically

At the end of the dark tunnel we call depression; there is good news and hope.  Available treatments include antidepressant medicine and psychotherapy or a combination of both.  At other times, light therapy or electroconvulsive therapy is appropriate.

If you feel that you are suffering from depression, begin by talking with your doctor.  He is trained to help to diagnose depression.  He is not going to think that you are weak or weird.  He is interested in getting the help that you need in order to be healthy once again.

Click here to learn more about overcoming depression

Fortunately depression can now be cured, especially when diagnosed early, depressed individuals can actually be treated through therapy and depression medication, although it may be a bit costly, a person’s good mental health is something that shouldn’t be scrimped on. Cognitive behavioral talk or interpersonal talk are incredibly healthy depression treatments that are just some of the available psychosocial depression treatments that cognitive behavior therapists can offer to their patients, both actually prove to be able to produce fruitful and positive results even for just short-term sessions, around ten to twenty weeks are almost always, already enough to get a depression patient slowly begin their recovery towards a sound mental health.

Before getting started with depression medication, the depression patient must first get him or herself to a reputable doctor, get a diagnosis of which type of depression the patient is actually suffering from, may it be clinical depression, manic depression or what-have-you. It’s best that you’re sure what you’re actually dealing with since there are various depression medications that are available in the market, you should make sure that you get the most appropriate one, the one that’ll actually cure your depression illness.

There’s actually a wide variety of anti-depressant depression medications available to help treat those who are suffering from depressive disorders. The more popular ones are those that are of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs variant then there are the tricyclics while the other popular variant is the monoamine oxidase inhibitors or MAOIs. These depression medications (the SSRIs variant as well as the other newer depression medication available in the market) actually to be a much safer alternative than the tricyclics, since they have fewer side-effects as opposed to the tricyclics depression medication variant.

Sometimes, doctors actually find it more effective to mix up these depression medications, depending on the needs of the individual, the doctor might actually prescribed a variety of depression medication to help cure one’s depression illness. Also the dosages of depression medication can actually be increased or lowered depending on what the doctor finds to be the most effective. However, when it comes to taking these depression medications, patients are highly advised to never mix up depression medications as well as pick out which dosages to take without consulting their doctors first.

Anti-anxiety or sedatives however, should never be mistaken as depression medication. Even though these anti-anxiety drugs are often prescribed along with depression medication, they don’t actually help cure one’s depression illness. Their mere purpose is to help calm one’s nerves which is why depression medications are still needed to be taken by the depression patient.

There are actually some common side-effects from depression medication, usually coming from the tricyclic variety. Some people tend to not mind these side-effects from depression medication, however if it does become to much of a bother and may end up ruining one’s ability to function properly, it’s best to go immediately to your doctor and report the side-effects. Quite common side-effects from depression medication are the following:

Dry mouth: always having the irritating feeling of being hydrated, it’s best to always have some (clean, drinking) water nearby so as to have something to drink whenever dry mouth occurs, chewing sugar free gum as well as brushing your teeth after every meal is also a good idea.

Constipation: cure such discomfort by eating and taking in a lot of fiber to help aid your digestion.

Blurry vision: another temporary side-effect, this one’s quite easy to pass but if it proves to be too much of a bother, consult your doctor immediately.

Headaches: quite common with the newer kinds of depression medication, it’s really not a big deal and will actually go away easily.

Insomnia: first-time users may actually experience this depression medication side-effect but it usually just happens during the first few weeks of taking the depression medication, asking your doctor to lower the dosage of the depression medication may actually help you with this side-effect, as well as the time of day wherein you take your depression medication can actually have something to do with your sleeping problem.

Actually start by hauling your depressed ass into the hospital and get yourself diagnosed by a reputable psychiatrist, one that’ll actually help you with your depression concerns, answer all the possible questions that you may have when it comes to depression as well as provide you with the best available to depression treatment that’ll make you give yourself some good-old, yet extremly effective depression help. All it needs is the right attitude.

After actually being honest with yourself when it comes to actually being a patient who is suffering from depression, quit turning youself into a victim and find out from these various types of depression the actual one that you’re suffering from: Manic or Bipolar depression – characterized by sudden and extreme changes in one’s mood wherein one minute he or she is in an elevated state of euphoria while the next minute (day or week) he or she is feeling to be in a personal hell, Postpartum depression – characterized by a prolonged sadness and a feeling of emptiness by a new mother wherein physical stress during child birth, an uncertain sense of responsibility towards the new born baby can be just some of the possible factors why some new mother go through this, Dysthimia – characterized by a slight similarity with depression, although this time, it’s been proven to be a lot less severe, but of course with any case, should be treated immediately, Cyclothemia – characterized by a slight similarity with Manic or Bipolar depression wherein the individual suffering from this mental illness may occasionally suffer from severe changes in one’s moods, Seasonal Affective Disorder – characterized by falling in a rut only during specific seasons (i.e. Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall) studies however, prove that more people actually fall in to a rut more during the Winter and Fall seasons and lastly, Mood swings, wherein a person’s mood may shift from happy to sad to angry in just a short time. But in spite of how scary or how daunting a task is the road towards a sound mental health is, depression help abounds and is just up to you if you’re willing to take in some of that depression help, may it be from your family, friends, support group and mainly starting from yourself, there really is a lot of depression help to go around. 

The old adage, slowly but surely greatly applies in trying to treat depression, as the patient continues taking the prescribed medicines for his/her depression treatment, as well as the corresponding therapy sessions with the cognitive behavior therapist, a patient being treated from depression needs all the support and depression help that he or she can get.

While being treated for depression, the patient as well as his or her family and other loved ones are advised to make realistic goals concerning depression wherein, to not assume that their depression can be easily treated in a snap. Depression help begins with trying to understand the patient’s situation and continue on being patient as well as always extending your help because depression help is never easy nor is the depression treatment itself, which is why both patients and loved ones need to help each other out through every step of the way. Never set goals that are high above your reach, give yourself some depression help by not being too hard on yourself, believe that you are good and strong enough to achieve your goals but only one step at a time.

Click here for 7 steps to a depression free life

At least half of the people that are diagnosed with anxiety also suffer from depression. These two overlap so often that more and more psychologists and scientists see these two as aspects of the same illness.

Let face it there are many people who feel sad at one point or another in their lives. A loss of a job, death in the family or various other disappointments will cause a lot of the symptoms of depression. At the same time, most people experience the above at some point of their life when stressful situations are brought to life. These are normal feelings to a certain point.

When these feelings of tremendous sadness or hopelessness are accompanies with fatigue and changes in appetite and sleep patterns are when these are not normal. In addition, if these feelings continue for more than a few weeks you can be diagnosed with clinical depression. In the same aspect when the feelings of anxiety become out of control to the stress factor the person is feeling. In addition, if the person has many panic attacks over a certain number of weeks they could be suffering from anxiety disorder. These two types are so tangled that one type must be diagnosed and treated before a person is able to deal with another.

Because of the overlap of depression and anxiety there will also be quite of bit of overlap in the treatment. The anxiety disorder side is most often treated with different types of antidepressant medications. However, some forms of psychotherapy especially therapy that deals with cognitive and behavioral therapy has been very positive in treating both conditions.

At times though it is necessary to treat the depression first. In one type of therapy, exposure therapy, the patient will be exposed to stresses that are gradually increased to help them to be able to cope with the anxiety. Depression has been known to drain a person of energy which leaves which leaves them to unable to cooperate so usually the depression needs to be dealt with before the anxiety therapy to work.

Psychologists are in agreement that a combination of anxiety and depression causes more debilitation than just having anxiety or depression.  Patients who have both disorders take longer time wise to resolve issues relating to depression.  This makes treatment in these patients harder.  Research also shows that the suicide rate is much higher in patients suffering from both depression and anxiety.

Although this may sound bad, there are several options to treat each of these conditions.  Anti-depressants can treat both anxiety and depression.  When behavioral therapy is used along with these medications, a high rate of success is found in treating anxiety that is accompanied by depression.

Click here to learn more about overcoming anxiety